Box is empty

I am rather happy to report that as of two Friday's ago, the white box that I keep the once growing hat collection in is gone. Yes, gone. I brought them to the hospital and I got this sense of relief and good deed. The pattern I was using, was unfortunatly too big for a small preemie baby, like the micro preemies. However, I was even MORE happy, here is why: The hospital I donate to is the only one in the area that takes care of the really sick babies and therefore has a special place for them. Now, these babies are not all necessecerely preemies, they are just sick. Holdeni is the place and I am a graduate and am happy to be giving back to my first home. Although they're not preemies sick babies can lose weight very easily if they are cold and need to maintain their body temperature, so my nice warm hats are helping. If they use their calories on something like keeping warm, they're not using the calories to repair what needs to be healed which is the goal of being in the hospital; to get better and eventually go home. I did donate the blanket for a special girl. I was told that the smaller hats I made were perfect size and that just amazes me. Those hats fit in the palm of my hand. They are stretchy so I feel better giving them knowing that. But it also makes me feel bad though that these babies are so small and what I considered small before is huge to them. I wouldn't what parents feeling that nothing fits their baby, that would make me feel horrible. When I'm a bit older I will be able to actually give the hats to the babies but that might take a while seeing that 50 seems to be my magic number. The woman I talk with at the hospital said that the hat load would last the unit a long time and that she hasn't seen a teenager knit hats before for preemies, but hey thats me. I totally know what its like later in life dealing with challenges these babies might face. I think that just because you look a bit different and you have something that makes you unique, doesn't mean its bad. Most things that "normal" kids make fun of is actually life saving and no doctor did it just because. It's actually something I can get worked up about because its one thing to be curious and I understand that, its another thing to assume that because someone looks different they are mean or you don't want to be their friend. I have more in common with these babies than many classmates because we all have a mutual understanding of things and that others don't see the scars as beauty marks or anything to have pride in. But I understand and thats why these babies are so special to me and why I make the hats. I don't do it to be goody goody or anything glamorous, I do it because I know exactly who these hats will help and I hope one day all the Holden grads will give back, like I did to a place that gave the ultimate thing to them; their life.